Naming Phoebe Elwyn

Phoebe's Birth Certificate arrived last week. Maybe it's me but it always feels strange to read your family life in a single page. While I won't bore you with the details as to why it took nearly six months for us to receive said certificate, I will wax lyrical and tell you how Littlest came to be named Phoebe Elwyn.

I've said before how I'd thought from the beginning that Littlest was a girl. For that reason I was intent on finding her name. While we had a list of girl names we liked, none of them seemed to feel right. My only request was that since Littlest would be arriving around Christmas, I wanted her name, if it really was a girl, to have some kind of reference to the season. With that in mind we quickly settled on Joy for a middle name but were still having trouble coming up with a first.

One night on our way home from Church we were listing off the names of the women in the New Testament, trying them out with Joy, with our last name, nothing was sticking until Joel casually said, "What about Phoebe?" I said the name aloud a few times, I whispered it, sung it, imagined a baby girl, a young woman, an old woman. I thought there was a softness in the name that would transcend age. Phoebe means radiant, shining one and St Phoebe was a Deaconess in the Early Church who is commended by Paul in Romans 16:1. We loved the meaning and quickly felt an affinity with St Phoebe so that was that.

Phoebe Joy.

As Littlest's due date came and went we (I) started second guessing the girl name we had chosen and growing anxious over the fact that we didn't actually have a boy name chosen at all. I was due any day and my Mum was up to help with Leo. It was tricky to find time to talk it over without fear of being overheard (we've always wanted the names of our children to be a surprise for family) and this added some pressure to the situation I'm sure.

Two days before Littlest's birth however, Joel and I were sitting in the lounge room while my Mum was outside with Leo. Here was our chance! We'd lost our initial love of Joy as a middle name and were brainstorming alternatives.

"What about Elwing?" Joel said.
"Elwyn? I like it. Elwyn. Phoebe Elwyn. I love it!" I replied.
"I like it too but you misheard me. I said Elwing."
"Elwing? No, not that. I like Elwyn. That's a real name isn't it?"
"Yeah, it is."
I googled it's meaning, "It means wise friend. Phoebe Elwyn. Bright, wise friend. I like that"
"Me too."
"So Phoebe Elwyn?"
Joel had to nod his approval because my Mum was coming back inside. We didn't talk about it again.

Phoebe is nearly six months old and that's just about how long it's taken for me to be sure that we chose the right name. She would have worn Phoebe Joy well. As her personality has emerged she's shown herself to be the happiest, most contented babe and when she gets excited, oh boy do you know it! Her face lights up and her chunky little legs go kick kick kick kick. You can understand why I wasn't sure, can't you?

But standing in our kitchen last week, reading over her Birth Certificate and seeing Phoebe Elwyn printed on the page, my heart finally settled. That's her name and always was. Doubt had teased me and I'd forgotten that joy is what always comes to mind whenever I think of my children. So while it might never be a name they are called by, it's what they are to me and what I hope they bring to others.