That Child

As I've alluded to recently, Leo has realised he has a will of his own and has made the most of various opportunities to assert it. While Joel and I have been managing his tantrums (which have decreased), we're still struggling with the screaming outbursts. They're not always connected with a tantrum you see. Sometimes Leo will scream for attention (which is expected), or mid-play for no reason at all (totally unexpected). It's at the point now where unless I hear real crying, I either ignore it completely or address his screaming with a firm "uh uh," or "no."

While this seems to work at home, social outings can hinder our efforts as people smile and laugh because it is genuinely so unexpected and always because it is so loud and high pitched for a little boy.  

It was taken to a new level yesterday though when, for no obvious reason, (and I truly don't think there was one) Leo screamed at a little boy who had come, presumably to play with/alongside him after our weekly music program had finished.

The little boy covered his ears and as he turned around to find his mum began to cry.

Leo made another child cry.

Leo knew he was in trouble and didn't resist when I kept him near me for the next little while. I apologised to the little boy's mum, assured her that Leo was in the wrong, apologised again and we went our separate ways. A humbling and slightly embarrassing encounter, but all part of raising children and teaching them self-control and how to be kind to others. Leo is definitely in a screaming phase and the best we can do is firmly remind him it's not okay, especially when other children are on the receiving end.

Eventually I felt comfortable enough to allow Leo another chance to try and play quietly.

I kept my eyes on him while I went to get a cup of tea. I put the teapot down though when I noticed the same little boy moving over to Leo again. How amazing I thought, that this little boy had so quickly forgiven Leo and was willing to be near him again. But before the two had a chance to even acknowledge one another, the little boy's mum had stepped in, picked her son up and redirected him to a toy elsewhere.

I understand why she did it, I truly do. No one wants their child to be screamed at by another child. It had already happened once and she didn't want it to happen again. Perhaps she might have assumed that because I wasn't nearby I wasn't keeping an eye on Leo. That's fair enough as well. She did what she felt best for her child. Regardless, I couldn't help but feel sad that someone didn't want their child near mine, she didn't want her child near Leo. 

I wish I could say our day got better, it didn't. Leo refused a nap, I got tired, cranky and sad and we both ended up in tears. Clearly Leo wasn't himself, whether it was teething trouble, feeling sick, I don't know. Joel came home and after recounting the story to him (with some more tears) he took Leo outside and I had some much needed time to myself. 

While this was just one small interaction that didn't bode well for Leo's character, and neither child will remember it when they're older, I know I will. Because one day, it will be Leo being screamed at unexpectedly and without provocation by another child. Leo may forgive the child as quickly as he was forgiven yesterday and should he still want to make friends, I will give him the freedom to do so. If only to let that mum know, 'Hey, I've been there. It's okay.'