2017

I used to be a resolutions girl. Perhaps my cynicism about them has something to do with how I used to go about making them. When I was younger, I'd write my list of goals for the year on a piece of paper and seal it in an envelope which I'd then keep in my 'special box' where cards and letters and various pieces of favourite memories reside. I can see now that it was a pointless exercise but I was always surprised when I'd open the envelope at the end of the year to discover I'd achieved nothing I had intended to.

Eventually I realised my error and took steps to helping myself make whatever goals I had set achievable. If I wanted to read more for example, well then, I'd have a list on the inside of my cupboard entitled 2005 Reading List. If my goal was to exercise more then I'd track my exercise each day. And so on and so forth.

Time is hardly my own these days so disappointment reigns whenever I slacken off in 'keeping track' of myself, be it with regards to my reading, savings, what I'm eating, if I'm keeping in touch with people, the list goes on. Last year I didn't keep track or set any clear goals for myself other than enjoying family life. While this gave me the freedom to leave the chores for another day, to not feel guilty about my lack of reading or to just enjoy a sleep in, I approached the end of the year feeling like I had often made poor use of my time. On the rare occasion I had an hour to myself while both children slept, I might have ignored the dirty dishes but I didn't pick up a book or take a nap or write here, like I should have. I got lost down the rabbit hole of YouTube and social media and what started as a five minute break quickly became forty-five and then before I knew it, it was back to the work of motherhood as the children woke from their naps.

2016 was a good year. It was a quiet one at home that saw the building of new relationships. It was full of the milestones young families know all too well; sleeping through the night, crawling, sitting up, taking steps, new words, teething, toilet training. Eventually I found myself swimming and no longer treading water. Only then could I reflect on how I had been spending my time and see that if I was to achieve anything for myself, be it something as simple as finishing a novel, then I had to be wiser about how I spent those little moments of time to myself. Because those little chunks of time add up and I want them to add up to more than scrolling through Instagram or watching Jimmy Fallon.

While Joel has been on holidays we've been able to do things as a family that would be too difficult for me to do on my own with the children. It's been fantastic! It's also given me a chance to indulge my own interests and to kick start some new habits. I'm hoping that as we begin this new year the satisfaction I've experienced from pursuing something for myself by myself will help me push through the adjustment period as Joel returns to work.

There's some really good things happening this year that I hope to share with you along the way. Don't worry, or get too excited as the case may be, no babies on the agenda for this year.

Hope your year ahead is looking bright!